I am unhappy and discontent. The reason is my relationships with my husband and my mother.

I am confused about if I have a personality disorder, and is that the underlying cause for my unhappiness.

I recently stopped talking to my mother. It has been a month since that falling out. It was her fault for being mean and irrational. But I am confused about that, too. Does my mother have a PD? Is that was causes her to be abusive? Should I forgive her and overlook it? But the rest of my family has been of no help, so I am also paralyzed about what to do about her now.

My marriage has been unhappy the whole time (over 20 years) beginning when my h started neglecting me sexually. It hurt my low self esteem. It kept us from bonding how I wanted us to be. It hindered my sexuality and I felt ashamed and rejected. I have a montage in my head of countless crying over his neglect.

Now I am paralyzed with doubt as to if it were all my having a PD and I can't bring myself to divorce him and move on.

I am seeing a new psy, but I can't get frequent enough appointments. It will be yet another week until I can see her again.