Thanks, ElsaMars. This is from the first hearing (the part after the 2 initial denials, the second being a rubber stamp formality --also exasperating).

I'm going after the second hearing, but the lawyer said it will probably be yet another a year and a half away (just like waiting between the second denial and the first hearing). (Which would make it like 5 years of effort(!!!!!)

Problem is, financially we can't last anything near that. I roughly figure we can eek out maybe a couple months. I don't have it figured exactly because it sends me into such bad panic. (I haven't even been able to read the decision in full because it upsets me so much.) Ugh.

I am actually handling it better than expected, but it is probably more numb shock than good coping skills. Everyone involved thought I'd get it. So frustrating that one person can have so much power over it.