Hi, we're not in therapy at all. We nearly separated last year and he agreed to go to marriage counseling which I've tried to get him to do for years. But once the dust settled he doesn't want to go.
I would like some therapy but i cant afford it. I'm having to pay for my daughter to go at the moment and my mum is having to help me because it was costing me £200 a month which i don't have.
I don't love him. Sometimes i don't even like him. We talked about it all last year and nothing has changed. He made no effort. Doesn't even seem to remember. But i cant talk to him without it becoming an argument because he's so defensive.

He doesn't understand my bipolar. I can't even talk to him, it just makes things worse. I have nobody to talk to except one friend who also has bp. I feel trapped in myself, in my marriage, in my job, in this life which isn't mine, it's everyone elses and i just get dragged along in the waves.

I'm scared about time and the future because our son has a medical condition that is most likely to get worse. Its always a sudden trigger for stress, anxiety, depression.
I have reached a limit i think. I am different to who i used to be. I don't have the strength any more to make things different. My self care is crap. I just want to disappear and be alone.

I don't know what to do any more