Today I sent a little apology message to a past female worker, apologizing if there were unpleasant moments. I also wished her good luck on her job. She sent me a "Thank you!" message.
Also, I went to a past best friend's house to return books he gave me a long time ago. I put them in his mailbox with a note and left.

Well, I'll probably get nothing from all this. I won't continue the relationship with the past co-worker and don't really feel like renewing the relationship with my best friend because he's went aggressive with people to make himself feel better about himself through arguments, sabotaging and scarring people with his lust for arguments and anger release.
I was one of them, and felt scarred for so long, and here I am doing something kind, what the hell is wrong with me. I wanted to hit him with something in the face our of fury and now I went to give something to him instead.

I mean, I don't really mind being kind, but my past has shown that my kindness made hurting people feel better... at the expense of me. An example would be that I fail to maintain relationships for more than 1.5 months, another past friend would hate women. Now he's had a relationship for nearly half a year and it's also passionate, something I greatly lacked.