I tend to believe my (or anyone's) mental-emotion challenges do not actually or directly cause trouble or harm to other people, just challenges -- and sometimes some overwhelming ones -- for each of us along the way. Manifestations of my inherent tendency to be restless, irritable and discontent are never far away for me, and just a little while ago I snapped at my wife a bit when her computer was acting up and she told me about that and then also tried to tell me it was not important! She knows all about my many challenges and was only meaning to be considerate, but there are times when I tend to be like a drama queen who nevertheless greatly dislikes feeling coddled.

Being unhappy and discontent over states of relationships is not evidence of something being wrong with you, it is evidence of frustrated instincts, desires and ambitions or whatever still in need of reassurance and/or of even being met. Our personality disorders can inhibit us from being "naturals" in the contribution department, but our disorders do not have to stop us from learning behaviours that can be appreciated and respected by others.

There is nothing we can do *about* other people, but we can learn to do things *for* them just as we would for someone who has the flu.

My second wife (who is now also my third wife) and I divorced many years ago, then not long after that I went to her and said something like this: "I have no idea how to be the spouse I should be, but I am determined to learn how to become that and I am asking you to re-consider me as I do." Saying something like that to your husband is not likely to re-start your marriage afresh, but I saw no point in moving along to someone else while still being whatever I was. Disclaimer: Your own mileage might vary greatly there!