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Originally Posted by bluebicycle
Sorry this happens. I've had intrusive thoughts too, and they're definitely no fun.
Do these places or memories have a common theme? for example, childhood trauma, or maybe you're remembering a loved one who died. etc. etc.
Mine involve all the anger and upset feelings I've experienced.
Since mine have a common theme, I am working with my therapist to let go of those past "angers". I've discussed what causes these angers, what the angers feel like, and create an action plan for how to let things go.
I'm wondering if yours have a theme of some sort?
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The people I miss pop up in some of these thoughts.....some who are now deceased, like my best friend. Other times, they are flashes of when I was deeply hurt or angry at certain people, and those moments bring me right back. Flashes of when I lost control out of anger do come up. I know pills can't resolve some of these things....but they just pop up, and I kind of dissociate during these times.
During mixed manias, intrusive thoughts come up that make me paranoid where I think I am being investigated. Luckily, I haven't had those thoughts in a while....I think the AP is preventing that.
I am also reminded of how my life took a turn for the worse and tired of how Bipolar ruined things for me and anger at people who have betrayed me. These are reminders that I wish I can go back to a time where maybe I was hypo, but felt alive. I have constant reminders pop up of a time where at least I had certain people and things in my life that are now gone. It really hurts. I did not think life would lead me to a place where I feel so scared, untrusting, and that I do not know what direction I am going in.....at all.