Thank you everyone for making me feel welcome.. it is so very hard having a mental illness..no matter witch one i have...everyday is a challenge ..I was thinking about my past and i can remember the beginning of a beating, then nothing else..no pain, but then other times i can remember pain and dont know what caused the pain..now in my adult life..sometimes im weak like a child..wanting to be taken care of and loved..and other times I hate everyone and hate being treated like a child..it really makes it difficult for people to get close to me.. its hard to believe i could have 2-3 personality's inside of me. but if i do i think one is there to protect me, but things get so bad..who is going to protect that person...I fight all the time with myself...i dont know who i am anymore and who to fight for ...The last time i had a mirror problem, where i looked in mirror and saw someone i didnt know. It was so scary..i looked in the eyes of this person and said has i cried, who are you, where did i go..im old and fat..thats not me thats not me!!! SO how do i figure out who i am..