This resonates a lot.

I think as girls we are raised to be 'nice', to be considerate, caring, and those are all good traits but it becomes problematic when we come up against those who disrespect our boundaries - because we are lead to believe that we should not be 'aggressive'. To be self assertive is not to be aggressive, but I think many of us (me included) confuse the two.

Maybe your T was deliberately trying to provoke you into reacting in a self-assertive manner? Idk she might just have been a bad T, but it's a thought?

I am so glad you are recognising the negative impact this has had on your life, and no anger is not always bad - especially when we channel it constructively.