I know the feeling but things get out of hand and you don't even realize. I've been on and off meds for years. Currently I'm on my best streak of taking them daily. If you can voice your frustration to your therapist. Make it known that you want to be on the least amount of meds possible.

There are AD/AP combos like Symbyax and viibryd. If your insurance will pay for it. There are AP monthly shots also that might be an option. Then it doesn't seem like you're on as much meds.