Sorry you are feeling so bad, though you should be proud of yourself for getting up to exercise! I can barely force myself to do that when I'm feeling great!

You say you've been struggling with MI for 4.5 years and that your breakup was 5 years ago...do you mean that you've been depressed ever since your breakup? Were you experiencing symptoms of bipolar before? That's a really long time to be in so much acute pain over losing someone...maybe this heartbreak is more/something other than biological depression + "normal" post-breakup grief. Seems like talking to a therapist or something about this could be helpful, if you aren't already.