Sounds like the love connection has been fading overtime, even he was aware of it. Otherwise he'd keep messaging you, yet it seems he wanted to meet up with you for the sake of staying committed.

How much were you connected heart-to-heart? What I mean is, how much did you settle and talk about emotionally intimate subjects and know what is going on with your lives?
I'm not making any bold conclusion, but it kinda sounds like you weren't really close on an emotional level and more on a sexual level. But three years is quite some time, so I really can't judge. But this is what I sense from your post.