Quote:
Originally Posted by *Laurie*
I believe that a lot of experience can be obtained from education and professional training. In my experience, however, life experience is mostly something that has to be, well, experienced. For example, milestones...such as losing many loved ones. Being married for over three decades, and all the 'stuff' that comes with a long-term marriage. Having empty nest syndrome. Facing mid-life to senior issues.
I think I need to know this therapist a little better. At first glance she seemed like someone who presents as quite young and naive. She did mention that she is a cancer survivor...now that is something I consider major life experience.
I am seeing a therapist primarily for grief and loss issues. If the therapist has never in her life experienced the loss of a loved one (and that definitely includes a pet), there could be a problem for me. I mean, one has to feel loss...reading about loss or hearing about someone else's loss isn't quite the same as going through it first-hand.
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I agree completely. "Life" experience comes from...well...living life. It's not something you can gain from reading books or obtaining academic training. Life experience doesn't necessarily correlate with age. Someone who has lived a comfortable life, in their hometown, and hasn't endured too many struggles may have far less life experience than someone who had to grow up and be self-sufficient at a young age, immigrated to a new country, put themselves through school, had to take care of an ailing parent, and so forth. Those are just random examples but you get the point.
If you want to know if your new T has experienced loss, simply ask her. I agree with you that if she hasn't experienced loss, she probably can't understand. I realized in my own therapy that i needed a T who could relate to the experience of growing up without a mom-- or at least an insufficient mom. I couldn't take any more clueless Ts saying things that demonstrated just how sheltered and naive they were, and how they just didn't understand my experience. It wasn't about age, but it was about life experience and maturity.