Its kinda funny, mood wise, work wise, life wise; things seem to be leveling out nicely, but core features still remain, I'm still paranoid and my sleep is still pretty broken up with lots of full wakings during the night.

Next appointment is in a few more days, and if I'm to make any further progress, I'm seriously going to have to look across the desk, at the most helpful person I've ever met, and tell them that I'm more afraid of them than any other person on Earth, and my emotional belief tells me that my fear is completely justified. Yet... I know I need their help. I know rationally, that they are worthy of implicit trust. And the dissonance between the two, now that I've placed them in contact within reality, is nearly overwhelming.