Hi,

for me the individual setting feels safer, more "cozy", I have the undivided attention of the therapist, she is fully focused on me.

My "normal" or "learned" (from family constellation) pattern in a group would be to completely withdraw, to feel unimportant, wanting to be asked or "invited" before saying anything. To avoid the risks that go with showing what's on my mind or what is important to me in any given moment. on a cognitive level I know where this stems from, that being shamed and made feel guilty a lot when I was little plays an important part in this. But for me, knowing the connections doesn't bring about any change.

So being in this group situation (which I still hate somehow) I quickly realized that I have to take responsibility for myself and for my needs. For the things I want/need from the group and/or the therapist. Either I open my mouth and make myself heard or I don't. It's up to me, I cant shift the responsibility for what I need towards someone else. Made me freak out in the beginning, but the (inner) freaking out is getting less each time I'm doing this.

Also, one of my problems is staying with "myself" (my feelings, needs, wants, desires) while I'm interacting with others. I tend to quickly abandon myself once someone else is entering the equation. So being in this group context I have to learn how to stay true to myself and my needs while entering interaction with the rest of the group. Which I find terribly demanding. But at the same time, having to do this again and again has facilitated noticable changes.

Hope this makes some sense.
Best wishes,
c_r