a very interesting thread, I can empathise with you being an over the road driver for years,100 hr weeks,suffering in silence, dreaming about a "real life" accepting depression as the "status quo"...I quit! it was either it or me,and I chose ME! (and my family) was I scared? sure,but I was more frightened of the alternative. since then, I feel as though I can truthfully say "well, it was'nt all as I would of had it to be but I have had many moments where it (my life) has surpassed my wildest dreams" I wish that for you, heck, I'd give you enough land to build a house on if you wanted it...I know, the impossible dream right? I suppose it beats the "definite nightmare"...