There are different kinds of loss though and you don't know what her life has been like. In saying that, I want my T to be with me, understand how I feel in my situation not be thinking "this is what it was like for me". Basically, empathy is being able to see your situation from your standpoint, not about whether my experience of X was like yours. So, if the relationship is ok and she has the right skills there's no reason why she couldn't offer you what you need.

My T is a good 20 years older than me because I wanted someone with a or of professional experience and I could see she had been in the profession for a long time with a lot of varied experience. I'd be equally happy seeing someone closer to my age if they had the same degree of professional experience.