I want to go places but I'm too sick to get ready to go. When I do go, I'm abused by azzholes in checkout lines, nursing staff, lab techs and doctors. I wonder why I don't want to go out? But I will be getting out and I will be treating others in kind. I used to feel with difficult people, you kill them with kindness because they are suffering too....now I just think they need to be killed. I won't kill them, but I will make it clear I want to. They will know there attitude is damaging and potentially deadly. They will know that stopping is in the best interest of them and everyone else. They will know. But I will be careful, don't worry.

Kids are challenging and like to push our buttons. I just recently realized my son is an emotional terrorist and has been since they put him on steroids at age 9. My ex husband recently confided in me he has Bipolar.....my husband who is a professional in Mental Health knows he's bipolar and we think he has BPD also. Not only has he physically and verbally abused me, he's brought very shady people to my house which made me fear for my life on several occasions. My best friend thinks I don't have BP, I have PTSD and my husband thinks my son has driven me insane on more than a few occasions. During one of my IP's, I tried to talk about what was happening in my house with my son and he SCREAMED at me and threw up his arms saying "oh great, now you've given this to your son". Way to be helpful....I felt like chopping off my head right then and there. Kids are hard but what are we going to do? Who love my son with all I have. I can't live if something happens to him but I can't live if he hurts my step son or husband either....it would all be my fault. I'm stuck and there is no help or compassion....just judgements and accusations. Sorry for ranting....I'm in a really bad place right now.