I can relate to everything that you're saying! I feel like it could be me writing. I feel like I can't control myself anymore. Sometimes I even wonder if I'm tasting my food. I also feel alone and isolated. I have horrible self esteem issues and I know it's surrounding my weight. I also eat and eat until incredibly full. I feel like I'm never actually hungry anymore but I'm always looking for food. I also feel very overwhelmed and sad that I cannot stop hurting myself. I feel like no one else is going to do it for my why can't I just stop?! It's exhausting and it really is lonely.