please bare with my scattered thoughts on this subject. have you heard of personal responsibility? It's basically the idea that we are 100% responsible for our lives. I learned about it at age 30, and never looked back. Jack Canfield dedicates the entire first chapter to it in his book The Success Principles. You know mr. Stranger, one thing I'm learning about is momentum and motivation. It's kind of like physics. The more in motion you are, the easier it is to do something, or continue doing something. What is it that you want? I see you wanting a whole bunch of things, and I see you having no idea how to obtain them. I also see you comparing yourself to others a lot. And not really taking the advice of others, which, I think you know, hence, you starting this thread? I mention motivation, because if you can think of something you want, know the motivation comes AFTER you start working on it. Not before. I think that's why it's so hard for people, me included, to work on their goals, because of the assumption that in order to do something, you must feel like doing it. No. That's not how it works. "I don't feel like it / I don't have the desire to," is not a reason to not do anything. Start small if you must. What do you want? How can you obtain it? What is some advice that people have given you here that you might be able to implement, even if you don't feel like it. There's a book called Feeling Good by David Burns. I recommend it because he talks about the distortion of feeling like "well even if I do it, it might suck and then it won't be worth it.". Start small. There are a lot of resources available. I think you see yourself as hopeless, and this is a distortion. You have probably been thinking this way for a long time, so of course, it's hard to change. Start small. Be patient. Be kind with yourself. That's all I have for now. Also, you ask "why?". I think this is the wrong question to ask. I think it sounds like you are maybe looking for something to be wrong with you, when perhaps, there are other questions to ask instead of why am I like this. Like, how can I be like so and so. How can I change for the better?