Exactly - and i was actually thinking about you when I posted. I'm not trying to say "poor me" either - just writing the facts. I don't need to be told to be grateful for things or be happy or be this or be that - i know all that, all that can be true AND there's this going on as well. sometimes it feels discounting to be told to be happy or grateful or told what to fee, how to be. it discounts the present moment of what life is like for me. I don't even always understand it myself - all i can do is to look at "who" i am now, today, see why and what trigger got me to that point. I can't even imagine a life without them.... well, i guess i had that once, but i was totally unaware of self and selves and had no idea how i got to "be" one alter or another - or even that i was switching.
it's all just part of the self awareness process.