For me, the worst part was losing my career, my home, and my social status to BP. Looking back, and knowing what I know now, I realize it wasn't my fault---I never asked for this illness!---but it got so bad for a while there that I had to be hospitalized for suicidal ideation/intent. I still miss my home and my nursing career, but being on disability has helped me a lot and I'm well most of the time now. Very little stress in my life now except for grieving my husband's death, and even that is less intense now, though I still miss him terribly. At least I have a warm room to call my own and the support from family as I need it. Things could be a lot worse.