That can't be easy for you going through all that! As said above, this site is excellent for a bit of extra support. There's always someone here to hear you out! And it is good to write out the things that are going through your mind

There's also another site that I have used a fair bit over the years. It's called 7 cups of tea. Basically anyone can sign up for it and it's free! There's the listener side, and member side. Listeners are there to listen, and they're just every day people - there are still some basic tests that everyone has to complete to become a listener though.
But yeah, I personally would recommend it for some support between sessions, just don't be afraid to sift through a few listeners until you find a decent fit, there are some not so good ones there! www.7cups.com

Hope this is of some help and that things get better for you soon