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Old Mar 26, 2017, 04:14 AM
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reb569 reb569 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Feb 2017
Location: Central New York
Posts: 1,229
Quote:
Originally Posted by jacky8807 View Post
No and he would never consider it. When he was 2 months inpatient to quick drinking, I think he decided to let go of the past and never look back
Except the past still effects him deeply. When his dad died a year ago he was really thrown for a loop with flashbacks and confusion, sadness and anger all at once.
But he won't admit to much. Thinks he is ok, thinks he is doing better than most .he is definitely a survivor but his NON stop stress and irritability over everything is going to give him a heart attack
My only suggestion at this point is to find ways to get him more involved in things that he likes to do that don't cause anxiety. Maybe hiking or camping or boating (weather permitting)? A concert or sporting event? Joining a gym? Something he ordinarily wouldn't do but you think he might enjoy.

Your father is grieving, but grieving over someone who abused you is very challenging. I went through this with my father, who was very abusive, when he died 11 years ago. He passed away (natural causes) on my birthday. It really crossed my mind that he had chosen to die on my birthday as a final blow, even though realistically I knew that was unlikely because he never said "Happy Birthday" to me once my whole life (nor any of my brother or sisters or my Mom either) and probably didn't realize it was my birthday. You feel relieved he's gone, then guilty for feeling that way, then a little sad, then pissed at yourself, pissed at him. Yeah, I've been there. It's a tough place to be.
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