OE, IMO, you trying to explain away his wife's callousness is really not helping.

If I am having trouble swallowing what you're posting, then I can only imagine what the OP is experiencing when reading your interpretation of his wife's POV.

TBH, I think its overkill at this point, but that's just my opinion.

DadFMF, I'm really sorry this thread has taken some negative twists and turns, but I've been here for a good couple of years and believe the intent is genuinely to help, no matter how misguided some posts come across.

I hope you continue to heal on your journey.