((((((((((((((((((((hugs if you want them))))))))))))))))))))))

Time - breathe - listen to all the parts of yourself. I didn't know my reflection this morning. course, with 12 parts, that's not new. i've also had a migraine for 4 days - maybe someone's trying to tell me something about the anxiety i have been experiencing, but i don't want to look at that w/o my t. it's been a hard week with the holiday, work, anxiety, SI.... i have to be patient when i see a me that's not who is inside at the time. there's just nothing else to be done. i know sometimes the kids are in side and are freaked out by the adult body. I had the same reaction once "Who is that reflection? Why am I old and fat?!" Truth is sometimes the body is my 30 yr old self. sometimes it's younger or older. Sometimes it is really old, weary, worn, and ready for the ultimate rest. but then the next day comes and things eventually even out. and sometimes the internal experience is different than the outside and nothing makes sense.
the thing i find most interesting is that it is not just my own perception - being a multiple - my body will change as well. i have to adjust the mirror in my car, or my seat and i'm having a "short" day. sometimes the bathroom sink is far too low and i'm having a "tall" day. my recorded height at the drs will change. my features change my face depending on who i am at the time; long angular as an adult , round when childlike, broad and flat when angry.
i'm on a tangent.... hmmmmmmmm.... maybe whoever was occupying me today is weighing in. i'd best stop writing now while i have some clairity.
hang in there - one day at a time.
k