My apologies for being unclear, my statement was just that, a statement based on what you wrote in your OP, not a judgment.

If I meant to be judgmental I would have at least attempted to chastise you, but that's not my style.

I'm sorry you're struggling and hope your therapist is able to help more in this regard.

I don't know much about PTSD, but from what little I do understand people do suffer from little to no self control WRT their reactions.