My esteem of myself -- my so-called 'self-esteem' -- and my sense of worth, worthiness and/or so-called 'self-worth' are not all the same, and I might never get those things completely sorted!
First from Webster:
Quote:
Esteem, verb
1. To set a value on, whether high or low; to estimate; to value.
2. To prize; to set a high value on; to regard with reverence, respect or friendship.
e.g. When our minds are not biased, we always esteem the industrious, the generous, the brave, the virtuous, and the learned.
3. To hold in opinion; to repute; to think.
4. To compare in value; to estimate by proportion.
Esteem, noun
Estimation; opinion or judgment of merit or demerit.
Webster's Dictionary 1828 - Online Edition
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As has been mentioned, the first issue has to do with what standard is to be used as a base line...and then we ultimately deal with the matter of who or what is to be our actual judge.
My mother and her two sisters were "abandoned" to an uncle and aunt while their parents were out of the country for extended periods of time, and I believe that definitely affected my mother's feelings about where she stood in the world. My own parents never abandoned me in that kind of way, and yet for whatever reason I have spent my entire life feeling like an adopted orphan.
People can make us feel esteemed or worthy in various ways, but those judgements often have strings attached. I have tried being my own judge for deciding values and status in relation to myself, but then again the strings typically show up whenever I expect other people to agree.
I do understand many of us have had experiences either with or within religions that have proved or turned sour in relation to all of this, but there again we have people and their strings.
There is the person I believe myself to be or should be or whatever;
There is the person other people believe me to be or should be or whatever;
Leaving all such things for supernatural judgement has resolved those matters for me.