High Aniii....welcome to PC!

So sorry that you are going through all this....and dissociation did help me survive when I was a wee one as DID/OSDD.....but now it is a pain in my arse.

Not to be diagnosing, but it also sounds like also some PTSD in the mental mix there. Have you a therapist?

My c-ptsd drives my anxiety and flashback to the times that I endured the initial traumatic event...or series of one. When I dissociate, it fades away as an Other steps up to continue our living time line....or not. Sometimes I'm just set in a daze looking but not seeing, hearing but not comprehending.

Pretty much only anxiety meds are prescribed and the rest is talk therapy. I just grit my teeth and bare it because it's my normal after so many years...I've become somewhat used to it and know what to expect....waiting for the episode to end to carry on living.

But you don't have to live this way....you can seek treatment. I never did because we isolated and hid it for years. Maybe in the future God willing.

Wishing you well.