You are right that unless they have walked in your shoes that no one will understand your pain. So focusing on the fact that they don't understand us is kind of self defeating thought process. Now, they can try to understand, listen without judgement and support us, that they can do. But are they that type of people? Are the capable of doing that? Some are not, just not in their make up. Being alone is a lot our choice, ya know. It's a defense to keep people at a distance so they can't hurt us as badly. Though as you have seen they can still hurt , even from a distance. So what would be a solution? Keeping them out of your life completely? Have them come to a counseling session with you, maybe have a group talk? Just my opinion but I think the people that hurt us are the ones we care about most. taking them out of our lives is not what I would want to do. Let's brain storm here....what are the options?
Are you on depression medications? Do you have a safety plan? I posted something on here about a safety plan and from what I understand if you google it there's lots of different ones to go by. Have the number for the crisis line close by? You know we have a bond with you and we are always here for you, always.