Despite what we may rightly value in ourselves, we are all in need of the forebearance, tolerance and forgiveness of those who have to put up with us. We can all - each of us - be a bit much at times. I have known a few individuals who need to imagine that they are utterly above reproach . . . that it is unthinkable for anyone to find them to be at fault. Those persons, I believe, are actually very insecure and have a false sense of self-worth. They live in fear. Honest self-reflection is abhorrent to them. They are extra tough to put up with.

Secure self-worth means that a person can regularly take responsibility for failing to meet even their own standards, but have faith in their ability to keep trying . . . to make ammends . . . to correct mistakes. I think it rests on a wise appreciation of how frail human nature can be, along with recognizing the heroic effort that living decently requires of all of us in our daily affairs. We are endlessly trying to get things right and often not succeeding. So we forgive ourselves for our failures, as we forgive the failures of those around us. Our consciences may pain us, and they should, if we are honest. If we come from a faith tradition, we trust in the mercy of God . . . while not presuming upon it. If I know myself, then I know I have much reason to be grateful for the forgiveness of others . . . and for divine mercy.