As much as I try to get past it, I really do feel alone. You know, if my guys were behind me and we went through the **** together; what I went through, they understand through and through because they were standing with me. Granted, I'm glad no one had to suffer with me in this one situation and several others, as they're their own types of hell. With the people in my life, I have some real good ones and I love them and they do try. Truth is, they can't help -- they do in their own different ways with different things -- but they try. How can they help if I don't even know how they're supposed to?
No antidepressants here and will never touch them again after my experiences. I'm dealing with my safety plan currently and I keep a hotline saved in my phone. I'm not a fan of either but I'm dealing with them. I'll be surprised if it works enough to get me through the next week.
I'm a little pessimistic right now, if I'm being honest. I've had a really hard day and it's not even close to over. Some people don't know where my head's at and that's not their fault but I've overextended myself today for the people I love. I'm worn down even more than when I first created this thread. Nothing I do seems to be enough and yet, it's all I have.