Hi,
I'm fairly new to posting here and just wanted to say that I admire your willingness to even ask yourself that hard question re: whether you might be using manipulation as a way of controlling the situation. It takes a lot of self awareness and insight --as well as courage to ask ourselves those kinds of questions and then be willing to listen to others perspectives who know you!
May I ask, do you have a therapist? A good starting point for exploring these issues or any mental health issues is therapy. When you find a good one, it can really be helpful. At least, that's been my experience.
I think if I were you (as I keep in mind the obvious--I'm not!) I'd probably ask those closest to you when the time is right for a calm conversation. You could say something like "I have some concerns about how I'm feeling and also about how I relate to people I care about. I value our relationship and I'm concerned that when I talk about feeling suicidal you might feel I am seeking attention, control, sympathy or somehow trying to manipulate you or the situation. I'd truly like to hear your thoughts on this if you are willing..."
Anyway, I wish you the best and I hope you feel better and get some support!