I do understand you a 100 % LadyShadow.

As Raven has said I also have more problems when hypomanic. I have been going through months now of being mostly hypo, interrupted by short episodes of depression or mixed, and a very short while of feeling normal.

I don't heavily drink, but I drink too much. Too frequently. Sometimes alone. To take the edge off, to be able to sleep, to feel less alone or out of boredom. I feel worried about it. My dad is an alcoholic, but he has been sober for years. I know I should be careful but my actual situation doesn't make it easy.

I don't get drunk during the week, but I will have a beer or two more then occasionally. I don't really think anyone knows I have a problem, because I am 25, I live in Berlin, and so many people have two beers in the evening that they don't even think about it. So my problem mainly is the "why" I drink and not how much. Anyway, on weekends more then just sometimes I will get really hammered and I do embarrassing things. I exaggerate and I just want the floor to open up and swallow me when I think about it.

I feel for and with you. You can talk to me if you still feel the need!