I feel a disconnect between my 'real' self and the person I become in certain social situations when I am around people. It does make me feel more lonely but I am usually glad I got out as I don't get out often. However, sometimes I leave embarrassed about my behaviour and that makes me feel even worse. I rarely open up to many people and the few I do I tend to downplay things so I don't overwhelm them or scare them away.

I guess I deal with it by isolating myself (a big no no) and trying to be more authentic with those I know won't judge me. Still, my friends do tend to keep their distance when I am very unwell. I guess they don't know what to do when all I need is their presence. Sorry I am not much help. It is an awful position to be in.