Sounds like you deal with it mostly the same way I do. I display a wonderful smile to everybody and go home to cry alone. Didn't call anybody when my grandma died last Friday. I suck at showing my feelings, but I guess it is kind of a lesson I learned because I got pushed away so many times when I did show them.

One friend of mine uses to make a joke. I sometimes say "I am very happy about.." or "I am very anxious.." and she uses to laugh at me and say that none of it shows in my face or my voice. "As if you were reading and instruction guide", she uses to say.