Hey starrysky. I have a question: you know my thread wasn't about what do be done, but how to start the process of change. You said motivation comes after work, which I think has a grain of truth in it, but what made you start the process of change? I was thinking about it, and I think the main reason I am not doing things is because I am not hopeful to succeed or I am fearful to fail. I want to change that way of thinking but I need some hope. I mean when I did things, I didn't see the glimpses of hope you talked about to keep me going. Who doesn't want to get better? We all do. I want to. But why is this not an enough reason for some people to change while it is enough for others? I think for me the fear of failure is more powerful than the desire to succeed, but how to make the desire to succeed more powerful? If I was motivated and had a strong desire to succeed, I wouldn't want any help, and probably I won't be here.

This may sound defensive, but the fear of trying is really crippling. I read at least two books on social anxiety (and some videos) and how to overcome it, but I couldn't implement the techniques systematically. I was too scared and not motivated. The problem isn't about motivation only, but also about fear, and the lack of positive feedback. Intellectually, I know I need to try and keep testing my fears, but I just cannot. In the past I was just a small talk away to make something happens, but I didn't do it because I was too afraid, and I regret that, but whole my life I have withheld making initiatives and talks out of fear, which are followed by regrets and more pain.

I hope I didn't bore any of you with my repetitive posts. Thanks all for reading.