I think you have done the first thing that is important to your journey in improving yourself. Admitting you have a problem is the first step when it comes to an effort towards self improvement.

I think it's important to be "careful" about asking others around you in that the last thing you need right now is criticism that can "hurt" you to where you go back to practicing unhealthy coping methods. I think you were wiser making the attempt to ask this question in a place where others struggle and you may get some good advice even though none of the members here are professionals and cannot actually diagnose you.

I do think you would benefit from looking into finding a therapist/psychologist that can listen to you and consider from "listening" what you may struggle with and what can help you overcome that challenge.

I think when looking for a therapist it would be a good idea to find a therapist/psychologist that specializes in treating patients that struggle with CEN, which is childhood emotional neglect. Often unhealthy manipulations come from struggling with childhood emotional neglect in an effort to gain the attention a child may need and is not getting. Yet, there is a deep "shame" under it all that needs to be worked through.