I worked today. Not at top form but okay I guess. I'm glad I did some paper work last night- it made today much less stressful. Of course that's all I did.
I Went to urgent care today after work bc I have not been feeling right- they found something so am now treating that,and i hope to feel a little better soon. At least physically...

I haven't had any urges to off myself lately, so that's good. I don't think upping the lamictal has done anything, but don't want my pdoc to be right so am gonna try it for a few more days at the higher dose. Depression be gone just to spite my jerky pdoc! Lol

I am struggling to be fully present at work. To give a shiit about the random stuff my coworker friends talk about during lunch. Which then makes me feel like an asshole. It is just exhausting to even be there; to have to listen to my cotescbers ***** about some fake problem like a kid losing his paper or realizing the yogurt they bought was expired makes me want to scream.

Anyway, sending some positive thoughts across the universe to u fine folks.