Quote:
Originally Posted by Clara22
Sorry if I am stupid, but you are waiting for yourself, like inhabited by an alien? Is it that you feel disassociated or it is just you feel you don't have enough will to stop doing what you want to?
Sorry if I am asking this question. It is just to understand where you come from (and understand myself by the way. Sometimes I cannot stop doing stuff. And I see myself doing things I do not want to do and I feel there is a kind of force in motion that is beyond myself), particularly if I am alone
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What do you mean "inhabited by an alien"? I just feel hopeless, nothing will ever change even if I went years through therapy. Why not feel hopeless alone? I can't even tell the therapist my real feelings. I probably just don't want to change, I probably like feeling miserable like a sadist. I still have not quit my psychiatrist appointment at the end of April, I held off on that for now...but my therapist once a week I have quit. I felt turned off when she asked if I wanted to have therapy once every few weeks instead of once a week, sorta like I don't matter (which I don't) and that she was trying to get rid of me. I played it calm and said once a week though.
I'm sure I am going to go crazy again (read my 1st post on this website for a quick rundown if you wish) and that's fine, i'll know better then to actually get help this time.