This reminds me of my session with my Therapist today when I was talking about buying some things for myself, although part of me says I would spend too much money. Her advice is that it is good to treat yourself reasonably and that completely depriving yourself of things that cheer you up leads to more depression. I know how stressful it can be when your budget is tight, but please don't be so hard on yourself.. I need to work on this too though!