People resist change for so many reasons. Fear, rejection, failure, and etc. I think you have to want it for yourself. You want change but how bad do you want it? I know you are not seeing a therapist but you should really try to. You mentioned you are unable to follow through on the self-help books. So what now?

I understand what Justafriend was saying and I don't think he/she meant any harm. Please continue to post if it helps you feel any better.