Maybe I'm so sick because I've wished for death so much or the times I've gone farther than simple wishing. I'd be fine with it if they'd just get it over already and kill me. I couldn't have done anything to deserve this much pain and assault. I relate to how you feel Naynay but I think it's unhealthy thinking. I'm not sure of your background but I'm an abuse victim and I've learned that we often blame ourselves and think we deserve things we obviously don't. Abusers and Society are by nature very victim blaming so it's not like we have much chance of not feeling we deserve things we don't. Stress causes disease so in the end, mental illness could cause physical illness and death. I know that isn't good news but it's the truth. (((Hugs)))