I am sorry about your loss.

I do feel lonely a lot. This is something I talk to my therapist about frequently. She says I need to work on filling that loneliness more with things and be okay with alone time, rather than depending on others to fill that hole. I've had a lot of losses (deaths of people important to me, relationships, even things that I can't go back to....) and it's still traumatic for me.

I wake up not feeling I have any direction. It is very hard. Lately, I feel most secure being by myself and not reaching out to others as much since that tends to complicate my life lately. I figure sometimes that others need to reach out to me more since relationships go both ways. Sometimes I feel I put in too much effort, and that exacerbates feelings of loneliness and not having an anchor, in a way. I do need to find more hobbies. I'm a work in progress, but it doesn't take away the pain.