Okay yeah, that would drive me nuts.

One time I spoke of just quitting, so it didn't become a factor in my old relationship fights. My T asked how much I was drinking and cautiously told me she didn't think I had a problem. Then she kinda checked me, saying, "As long as it's your idea... " Well, it wasn't. I was just a reaction to feeling shamed and controlled by my Ex, who used my drinking — and the inhibition I had in speaking back to her— as an excuse to wrong me in our fights and ignore her own culpability. That was more about her own history than anything I actually did.

Though self-medicating stress is an issue I've come to take a serious look at. I appreciate that my T didn't moralize me in that case, I would have felt even more shamed and manipulated by my Ex.