Quote:
Originally Posted by doogie
I've found that when I 'act out', I rarely get the response from T I'm looking for and ultimately end up hurting myself. When I stuff down my emotions about T, they just pop up somewhere else over another issue. It is SO HARD to talk about things head on, and I've been in counseling for a long time now and I'm just starting to do it, but it is SO much better. I always try to write it out, so I can be sure I can get my point across exactly as I want to and I also try really hard to make sure I'm being fair and not lashing out. I try to talk about how Ts actions made me feel (make it about my reaction) rather than focusing on what T did or didn't do.
I hope you find a way to talk to your T. I know the feeling of wanting to 'get T back' in some way oh too well. It never ends in a good way....
Good luck.
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Writing is a good approach. That's what I do. You can do it while calm and describe what you want to do, what reaction you want etc.
I think my T must have a different approach. He's very good at dealing with the acting out when it happens, although I still find it extremely embarrassing. He doesn't react how I'd expect or how I'd want.....does that make sense?