Manic Depression... A Poem...

I laugh but deep inside I cry

I hit rock bottom, you think I'm high

how could you see behind my smile

it's been painted there for such a while

all my troubles hide inside

they are like a mountain high and wide

it's not your fault, you cannot know

if what I feel I do not show

you see there's more to this depression

the wish to end all this suppression

the anger you have never seen

is more to me, it's not a dream

a wish of death, the desire to harm

yet on the surface full of charms

a problem shared is not halved to me

in fact, it turns at least to three

I share my feelings and then you are blue

a problem shared passed on to you

what causes me such grief such pain

will I truly smile again

as friends go I am sure I have many

but when I get low I have not any

it's true I can express others grief

and they stand back in disbelief

how could you know the way I feel

how can I say it's not real

there is no god at least I think

it's no surprise people turn to drink

it's hard to look toward the future

when all you see is on your wrist a suture

the shrinks just smile and say there, there

what do they know? Why should they care

imaginary friends beat you up for a laugh

then try to drown you in a bath

voices that tell you things so weird

and yet you are convinced you heard

tablets that make you sick and confused

if that is helping, you are doomed to lose

I could go on please don't you scream

but sadly this is not a dream

the voices won't stop cause it's me that I hear

when I found that out it filled me with fear

fear of knowing just what I could say

more fearful of me with each passing day

if this is manic then take it back

cause if this is manic then something I lack

I miss the high that I had before

I am permanently low and yet high I'm assured

the voices I hear used to be my friends

but those voices now predict the end

if the end was only to this depression

then perhaps I'd feel much less aggression

but here right now I am making no sense

this tangled web is too immense

the price of being bi-polar I guess

is walking around like me

in a mess

Author Unknown