Hope, you have to find a way to ask for help appropriately, to use your current therapist effectively, during scheduled sessions that you attend regularly. You seem to be creating crisis after crisis for yourself by missing appointments, cancelling or threatening to cancel appointments, calling therapists and pdocs who are not your current treatment providers, pushing email boundaries, etc. These are the behaviors that created the poor ending with your old therapist, and you seem to be headed that same direction with your new T. Since the police did not take you into the ER, it appears your suicidal threat was deemed not serious? Was that a way for you to try to get attention from your new T? (I'm assuming the receptionist you talked to was your new T's receptionist, not your old T's?) If so, what would be a more appropriate way to have your needs met that doesn't escalate to the point of crisis? If you are in danger, you need to take yourself to the ER.