Quote:
Originally Posted by Happyhappyme1987
It's weird because I've always had a deep gut feeling that something bad would happen before it's happened! I've never been in this situation before, so people actually go out of there way to seek out a victim for abuse? If so, why? My friends have said as he only does it when he's drunk maybe i can look past it because he's not done it sober! I think maybe he was testing me from the start as he used to have mood swings and i would always calm him down or pander to him just to calm him down. Also, the police were called once but not by me, by a woman who was concerned because i ran out of the house. I wouldn't press charges but he told them that i was going to kill myself and he was trying to calm me down.i was so scared that they would section me or take my.daughter that i just said he didn't do it so that they would leave. Plus i honestly didn't want him to get into trouble
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So even though he is drunk he is aware enough to talk himself out of the situation when faced with the cops.
And make it look like it's YOU with the problem.
You know,why?
Because he has had to do it before. This man is a habitual abuser. He chose you because he read you right.
And yes absolutely, abusers SEEK victims.
Why?
So they can continue to abuse.Because it's a pattern they understand, some grew up with it and genuinely don't know there is any other way of being.
Some just like the power over their victims,they get off on it. The reasons are as varied as re people who do it.
And the longer they have been at it the quicker they are a assessing victims.
Afterwards,
He will cry, and apologise and say he is sorry and he won't do it again. (Any of this ringing a bell.)
The truth is you don't know this man, you know a persona he put across the internet.
You don't see him everyday (thankfully) and he already knows your daughter is your weak spot.
He will use that to ensure you behave and don't report him.
Abusers are familiar that single parents are reluctant to involve the police because of a fear of child welfare getting involved.
You won't have that choice when he puts you in the ER.
You can't save this man, he didn't choose you to save him, he chose you so he didn't have to be saved.
If I am wrong, and I pray everyday that I am, TELL him don't ask, tell him there will be no more drinking around you.
He will either abide by the rule, and things might be ok.
He will tell you your making too big a deal of things.
Or he will lie, and agree not to drink but do it secretly, and by the time you realise it will be too late.
Please,please keep this man away from your child. And if you care for her at all, keep him away from yourself too.
Also your friends don't know what they're talking about.IMHO.I don't mean to sound rude, what I mean is I don't think they have the experience to make an assessment on the situation.
Please be careful.Take Care.