Wow, thanks for this thread.

I have been wondering for a while, if it is the bipolar who makes me do the things I do when drunk or if it is just the drinking.

I tend to feel the bipolar has a good part in it because I act very differently when drunk in a hypomanic phase than when depressed and drunk.

I did sooo many things. Gosh. I become the life of the party (that I actually am while sober already when hypo). A huge part of it was sleeping around. Then becoming a "undergorund berlin tourist guide" to strangers (regularly, these nights end with buying drugs). Last time drunk a guy who wanted something from me made a joke about my sister (in case I wouldn't have him maybe she would) and I totally got the joke and just wanted to "joke back" by basically assalting him and pressing him against the wall and shouting that I would smash his face in if he made another joke about my sister. Everybody in the room froze and I felt so embarassed because I was just joking and noone got it.

Yeah, and so many other stories. The one time I broke my hand and injured my ribs when doing Muay Thai with a stranger who was so much taller than me. The many times ending up in flats of total strangers. The grandiose ideas. Everybody seems to love me when I am drunk until they don't.

Sometimes I just want to hide and never crawl back out to daylight.