I'm so sorry you are going through all this. I relate to wondering if it's all you and less them but realistically, it's probably a combination. I hope you can make some peace with all this and decide what it is you really want and need. You are a good person and you deserve to feel more supported and content....whether that is with your mother and husband at your side or far away, you deserve to have what will bring you the most overall contentment and healing. (((Hugs)))